There's a Hole in My Heart (Closed)

[Abraham Bishop]

He'd had a meeting earlier that day - a formal one - with a representative of Britain's hero team. The representative had been a friend, someone he'd gotten to know quite well when the two teams had worked together in the past. Circumstances - near death ones specifically - had led to the two knowing each other's identities so he'd taken the meeting in civilian clothes, though still made a point to dress nice. Looks were everything when it came to business, after all. He'd been twisting his ring absentmindedly by the time the meeting had ended. He'd been far more distracted than he would have liked during the entire meeting but had made the wise choice of having Oliver, a member of Aegis who he'd trained personally, there. Oliver had heard enough to write up the official report. He'd been so absentminded, even in the break room, that Liling had suggested he go home and get rest. He hadn't entirely wanted to but she'd insisted. His mind had been filled with nothing but thoughts of Dimitri, memories of their night spent together, and a deep longing for the other man's presence again. The braid of foxglove had meant Dimitri would return but it never said when. He'd pressed it into a book - one of the many journals he'd bought and filled during the duration of their relationship with those very foxglove braids, pressing them and preserving them among the pages while jotting down the dates Dimitri left and returned. Apparently some old habits died hard. With one hand he undid the top button of his shirt, feeling strangled by it, and with the other he unlocked the front door of his house. He was aware of a presence the second he stepped through the doorway. He wasn't aware who or what it was, but it was there regardless. He slowly closed the door behind him and locked it. The keys were quickly twisted so the stuck out between his fingers of his fist. But then Abraham's eyes found the source. The keys dropped from his now slack hand and clattered noisily against the floor. Before he fully knew what he was doing, he was walking fast, arms finding their place around Dimitri's neck and pulling the younger man into a desperate hug. He let out a shaky breath against Dimitri's neck, which his face was pressed against. The braid had been a promise but a part of him had doubted - a part of him had wondered if he was remembering that promise correctly. But Dimitri was here - He'd came back and this time it felt like he'd come back for him.

... the joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of. i'd be so lost if you left me alone ... the phantom @dimitri outfit 438 words n/a

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[Deleted]

Dimitri's trip back to Italy had been difficult, but necessary. As his plane touched down in Astaria again, however, the spy couldn't help but feel that the hardest part still lay before him. A quick correspondence to Liling and Dimitri knew how to plan accordingly. He didn't want to go anywhere, do anything, or see anyone until he'd spoken to Abraham. Finding his way back into the Phantom's home, Dimitri checked his watch. He lowered into a chair in the living room, crossed his legs and screened his eyes with one hand, lapsing into thought. That's how he stayed, until the sound of the front door opening pricked his ears. Foxglove stood slowly, taking several steps so he was moreso in the middle of the room. There stood Abraham, and the look on his face when he saw Dimitri drove the wind out of the spy's lungs. Wordlessly, Abraham crossed the distance and wrapped him in a desperate embrace. Dimitri returned it, letting out a mute sigh of his own to match the shuddering one Abraham rasped against his bare neck. "I keep my promises," he said softly - in teasing reproach. The two stayed that way for several long moments, then Dimitri drew back. He reached up and cupped one of Abraham's cheeks, looking him in the eye. "We need to talk." He'd been braced for the worry and fear that that ominous statement would draw out of the Phantom, but it was still difficult to weather. The two migrated to the couch and Dimitri pivoted to face Abraham. There was no use stalling, it wouldn't make things easier, so he began. "I broke off my engagement. Our night together showed me that that wasn't what I wanted - Who I wanted." Foxglove felt like he was nurturing false hope in the Phantom, but there was no better way he'd picked apart in his head to say everything. "I want you, Abraham," he said, but it was so quiet and so sorrowful it was disconcerting. Dimitri's eyes misted slightly and he smiled in a weak kind of way. "But I don't think you're ready for me, yet. Aegis is your life. The most important thing in your world. My history with the agency aside, I can respect that." Foxglove swallowed past the dryness in his throat and took a slow, bracing breath. "Until I can be that most important thing, I don't think we should be together."

... And now your song is on repeat and I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat. and when you're gone, I feel incomplete ... foxglove Abraham Bishop

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[Abraham Bishop]

He never wanted to let Dimitri go, a part of him afraid that if he did, the other man would leave again. It took all his willpower to not kiss Dimitri's neck. He didn't know where they stood, what Dimitri wanted from him, what he fully wanted from Dimitri. All he knew was that he didn't want him to leave again, not right now at least. But then Dimitri drew back. He couldn't help leaning his head into the hand on his cheek. He'd missed, over the years, how easily Dimitri could get him to relax. He didn't remember ever being so angry, so stressed when they'd been dating. However any comfort from the touch melted away at those words. He paled, his body tensing. Nothing good came from those words, at least not in his experience. He hesitated, his stomach twisted with anxiety he didn't often feel, before following Dimitri to the couch. His eyes were on his own hands before he heard Dimitri's first words. He hadn't noticed the lack of an engagement ring. He'd assumed it was still there for whatever reason. He hadn't wanted to think their night together would've been enough for them to try being together again - He hadn't even been sure whether or not he wanted their night together to break Dimitri and his fiance up. But evidently it had played a large role. He wanted to insist that that hadn't been his intention, that he hadn't been trying to make Dimitri choose, to purposefully get between him and his fiance. But the words fell flat before he could even get them out, held up by the fact that Dimitri's fiance hadn't been who he'd wanted. Abraham couldn't keep the vulnerability, the hope off his face, turning in his spot on the couch so his knee rested against Dimitri's. His heart leapt at the next thing the younger man said - how he wanted him - but then dropped like a dead weight at the tone the words were said in. They weren't spoken with the relief or happiness one would have expected when reunited with the man he loved. They sounded sorrowful, as if grieving for a relationship that couldn't be - as if Dimitri was admitting he wanted someone he couldn't have. The tears in his eyes only added to that apparent fact. But... Abraham wasn't unavailable? He'd already confessed that he was still in love with the spy. He didn't understand why that didn't seem to be enough. The words that followed hit him worse than any punches or even bullets ever had. His expression twisted from confusion, melting into concern then... He wasn't sure. He pulled his gaze away, shifting back in his seat so he faced forward, his knee no longer against Dimitri's. He blinked through his own tears, staring at the wall across from them. He couldn't help thinking back to their previous relationship, going through the memories with the overwhelming feeling that he hadn't done enough. He hadn't done enough to make sure Dimitri knew how important he was to him. He couldn't help wondering if that had played a roll into Dimitri leaving. If he hadn't failed the man he loved, would he have still left? He was quiet for perhaps too long of a moment before he lifted his head and his eyes found Dimitri again, turning to face the other man and reaching out gently, hesitantly for his hands. "But you're my world," he breathed out, voice cracking. He looked down at their hands together. "After you left... I tried so hard to make Aegis an organization you could trust," he admitted, "I've worked so hard to make the team respectable and better." He thought about how Avery had infiltrated Aegis and impersonated, as well as kidnapped and held hostage, Morrigan, one of the Pillars. The revelation that a Pillar of Aegis had been replaced by a shapeshifter had made the news - her reveal caught on camera. He thought about how Icarus - who while his identity was secret, it was known that he was one of the younger members - being struck by lightning had made the news. It was highly likely Dimitri knew about those two incidents and many more of Aegis' perceived failures. Aegis' failures were his own in his opinion. "I'll... I'll leave," he said, gaze moving back up to Dimitri's own eyes. "I'll leave Aegis." It wasn't... ideal for him. He did a lot of good in Aegis, he saved people as The Phantom. And he knew he couldn't be The Phantom without Aegis. It'd be illegal. To leave Aegis meant to retire The Phantom. Though there was always the chance Aegis would need his help and ask him to dawn his mask just to help. "I'll name a successor," he continued, having a feeling that at least once he mentioned it, Dimitri would recall the team's process to replacing Pillars, if he hadn't already. "I... I've had one in mind for a while now. I've just been trying to push him to lean into the leadership I know is in him but he'll do fine." Leaving Aegis meant leaving all the work he'd started behind. It'd mean suggesting a new leader for the infiltration unit to Liling. It'd mean explaining to the kids, the heroes he'd trained that were somewhere like his own kids, that he wouldn't be coming back, he wouldn't be training them more. Being a Pillar of Aegis had been a dream of his since he'd first joined the team... But a life with Aegis wasn't worth a life without Dimitri. And he wanted Dimitri to know he'd choose him, no matter what it meant he had to leave behind. He'd already had a taste of a life without the man he loved. He didn't want to live that way anymore. "I'll go in tomorrow," he explained, "And I'll call a meeting with the other Pillars and name my successor." He looked down at his hands tangled with Dimitri's before up at his face again. "Then... You and I can do whatever, go wherever. Together."

... the joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of. i'd be so lost if you left me alone ... the phantom @dimitri outfit 1,016 words This took all day to write. o-o;;

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In the silence following his words, Dimitri weighed what he had said. They'd been hard to articulate and even more to voice, but he was content with them. They were truthful and sincere and, he felt, justified. Foxglove watched the Phantom for those long, mute moments. Abraham turned, but the earnest light in his eyes wasn't what Dimitri expected. Or the hands reaching out to tangle their fingers together. The spy's brow furrowed. "But you're my world," Abraham said, and Dimitri's heart split down the middle. He went on, explaining how in Dimitri's absence he had dedicated himself to making Aegis better. Dimitri's brows knit in a small, gentle frown, because there Abraham was going again, missing some of the point. Yes, Foxglove had left Aegis in part because the agency wasn't what he thought it'd been. But only in part. The rest of the reason was because he judged he could do the most good as a more fluid agent. Any more thoughts on the matter were totally destroyed when words left Abraham's lips - simple and bare - that Dimitri would have never dared dream. He was willing to leave Aegis - immediately - for Dimitri. All the spy's lifetime of training couldn't have prepared him to handle that revelation, and the shock broke unfiltered across his face. Abraham kept going, explaining what he would do, the logistics of formally leaving Aegis. By the time he finished, saying that then the two of them could go wherever, do whatever, together, a tear slipped down Dimitri's cheek. Because this changed everything. Fox knew that Abraham didn't want, nor was he ready to leave Aegis. But he would if the alternative was losing Dimitri. Putting things in perspective and placing their love above any organization or other commitment. And, just like the spy had said: they couldn't be together until they could both be each other's world. Dimitri took a rattling breath through his misty eyes once Abraham finished bargaining. He kept his gaze on the other man's and slowly stood. Looking down at Abraham, he said, lips in a vague smile, voice bogged under emotion, "Where's the ring?" He could hear his blood rushing in his ears in the moments when Abraham vanished and returned with it. The spy held out his hand. "Ask me," he said, barely more than a whisper.

... And now your song is on repeat and I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat. and when you're gone, I feel incomplete ... foxglove Abraham Bishop

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[Abraham Bishop]

He didn't know what Dimitri was going to do, what he'd say. He didn't know if he'd believe his words. All he knew was that he didn't want Dimitri to leave - not again. But he also was fully aware that if his words weren't enough, if Dimitri decided to leave again, he shouldn't try to force him to stay. He paled faintly when Dimitri stood up, terrified that he hadn't done enough, hadn't said enough. He'd meant what he'd said. He wouldn't have enjoyed leaving Aegis but he was entirely willing to do so for Dimitri. He saw the smile, his heart fluttering at it, before he registered the younger man's words. His mind blanked for a brief moment at the mention of the ring, confused as if he'd somehow managed to forget it even existed. He got up slowly, eyes on Dimitri, unsure why he wanted to see it. That smile almost made him hopeful but he tried hard not to make a habit of feeling that exact way. He retrieved the ring from his bedroom, opening the case and looking down at it to confirm it was still there. He remembered picking it out, planning how he'd ask - bouncing ideas off Liling. He remembered trying to figure out ways to sneakily get Dimitri's ring size. It hadn't been easy, keeping a secret from a spy. Abraham returned with the case clearly held in one hand. He came to stand right in front of Dimitri, eyes watching him with confusion and hesitation. He continued to stare when the spy held a hand out and spoke and it became clear what he wanted to be asked. Abraham's breath hitched. Dimitri clearly believed him. He'd thought if Dimitri believed him, they could start dating again, that he'd wait and see how strongly the other man still felt for him. But Dimitri did believe him, but he didn't want to date apparently. He wanted to pick up where they'd left off all those years ago except with less anger, less hurt feelings. Tomorrow he'd have to tell Liling, John, Bradley, and Morrigan that he was leaving Aegis but tomorrow he'd get to wake up with Dimitri in his life again. He thought the happiness of that would outweigh the grief of leaving behind his life's work. He got down on one knee slowly, eyes never once leaving Dimitri, hesitant as if he thought the other man would change his mind. His hands shook faintly as he fumbled with the box. He wondered if he would've been this nervous all those years ago. Abraham stood up suddenly, taking Dimitri's hand in his own, the box held in his other hand. He stepped closer, his smile soft, warm. "I love you," he said, his eyes never wavering from Dimitri's. "I never stopped loving you. I never stopped wanting to marry you. You've always been the one I want to spend the rest of my life with." He could feel tears in his eyes. He released Dimitri's hand in order to cup his cheek. "I would do anything for you." He took in a shaky, nervous breath as he pulled his hand back and got down on one knee again, opening the box to reveal the ring Dimitri had already seen not too long ago. "Will you marry me, Fox?" he asked, voice quiet, vulnerable, but loud enough for Dimitri to hear. "I... I don't want to spend another day without you."

... the joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of. i'd be so lost if you left me alone ... the phantom @dimitri outfit 577 words n/a

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[Deleted]

Abraham lowered to one knee, handling the box with the ring clumsily - so unlike him, who had an innate authority and dignity to every act and word. Dimitri's hand, too, held out bare and waiting, trembled uncharacteristically. But Abraham rose to his feet again, taking Dimitri's palm in his free one, looking down at him with eyes that burned with emotion. Dimitri listened, breathless, to what Abraham said. Each piece of the confession seared the spy to his core, and he was more and more sure that he and Abraham were destined to be together. That, somehow, though it was impossibly lucky, with how happy they made each other, they'd been able to find each other and now? To keep each other. The hand on his cheek made Dimitri's knees wobble a little, but he stayed upright. Abraham lowered back into a kneeling position with renewed confidence and surety. Dimitri's hand still quivered. Even though he knew the question was coming, hearing it made him see stars and the world spin, like it was all too good to be true. Dimitri didn't have this kind of luck. He didn't deserve - hadn't earned - this kind of happy ending. But dammit if he wasn't going to take it, anyway. "Yes," he gasped, smiling and laughing and even weeping a little all at the same time. He felt the ring slide into place on his finger and it felt, down to the fiber of his being, right in a way that his former engagement never had. Dimitri didn't give Abraham the chance to stand, instead all but throwing himself down into the Phantom's arms, crushing their mouths together like their lives depended on it. Their kissing was passionate and romantic at first. but, as ever, they were each other's kryptonite. Dimitri felt Abraham's hands questing lower - could feel his tongue fighting harder. The spy stayed him for a moment, grasping his biceps and pulling back to look up at him with a shaky breath. His self-control was paper thin and ready to break at the slightest further test, but he had to say what he wanted to before they went further. "I don't want you to leave Aegis. Not yet. It's enough to know you'd be willing to for me." Dimitri stared earnestly up at Abraham, trying to convey his complete sincerity in that look alone.

... And now your song is on repeat and I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat. and when you're gone, I feel incomplete ... foxglove Abraham Bishop

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[Abraham Bishop]

"Yes." The world felt like it had come to a sudden halt the second he heard that word. Nothing existed anymore except the two of them. It took him a few seconds to be able to move, to regain control of his body, slipping the ring onto Dimitri's finger - even looking down to make sure he put it on the correct finger. It was such a beautiful sight, seeing that ring on the younger man's finger. It was far better than the ring he'd worn before. His enhanced strength was likely the only thing that kept him from falling to the floor as Dimitri was flung into his arms, their lips pushed together. The world was suddenly moving again, revolving around them - His world revolving around Dimitri. Kissing him must have been what the Big Bang had felt like, powerful, beautiful, life giving and fulfilling. A part of him was worried this was just a dream, that he'd wake up to that journal, the latest entry still missing a return date. It wouldn't have been the first time his dreams had been so cruel, giving him what he desired most only for reality to rip it away. But this wasn't a dream - It felt too real. It was real. His hands roamed lower, pressing and gripping, wanting all of the other man as he could get. But then Dimitri was pulling back, even though it was clear he wanted to continue just as much as Abraham did. The fact that he did pull back sobered him in regards to his desires because he knew it must have meant his fiancé - fiancé - had something important to say. "I don't want you to leave Aegis. Not yet. It's enough to know you'd be willing to for me." Abraham blinked, confused by the first part for a second. He hadn't thought a world where he could continue helping lead Aegis and have Dimitri was possible - at least in the back of his mind, he hadn't thought so, even if he'd hoped many times. "I would do anything for you," he repeated the words he'd used in his proposal, emphasizing and meaning them all the same. He'd draw lines for Dimitri, he'd cross lines, he'd utterly destroy lines. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for him. In a way, that had always been true, even if in his younger days, he hadn't realized it. Of course he couldn't help grinning, leaning in closer, mere inches from the other man and adding, "I would do anything to you too," because he was fully aware how close they both were to tipping over the edge. END

... the joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of. i'd be so lost if you left me alone ... the phantom @dimitri outfit 439 words Sorry about the wait!

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