xx. where did the party go

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There were few things that he took incredibly serious in life. Jonas, and everything that came with him was of course at the top of that list, indisputably. However, parties weren't too far down on the same list. This one in particular wasn't necessarily what he was used to- he'd never been to a housewarming party, much less threw one -but he rolled with the punches as easily as he could. Normally he might not have been so uptight, but it was the first party he'd been to with Jonas since that week and the accident and the mess that followed. He was sure it'd be the first of many, especially if he had any say in it, but in particular he wanted it to be perfect. Which is how he found himself in the kitchen, tediously arranging the snacks on the counter and putting away a few groceries he'd picked up after class. In an almost compulsive way, he straightened a party dish that Erin had brought with her before turning to store the case of wine coolers he'd picked up in the fridge, running through a mental list of all the people he'd texted and who had responded. A few old, mutual friends from high school were the first that came to mind, along with Jimmy- a friend from campus, and his boyfriend, if Fitz recalled correctly. Then, there was whoever Jonas had invited. Erin had already arrived, and was busy doing what she did best: assuring him that he could relax and ease off the pedal a little bit, advice Fitz was keen to take once he got the drinks in the fridge arranged just. how. he. wanted.

. . . I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine; What a match, I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet . . . fitz @jonas

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He would never say it out loud, because his boyfriend would've just gotten angry, and made it more true but: every little thing that Toran was doing regarding the housewarming party he was throwing for Jonas was absolutely, breathtakingly adorable. Jonas hadn't had strong feelings for or against the party when it'd been brought up to him, but he was quickly made aware by Fitz that his feelings didn't factor in. Toran was throwing it, the end. So Jonas smiled and kissed his cheek and rolled right along with it, trying to be helpful without stepping on his boyfriend's toes. And, mostly, Jonas was just happy to sit back and watch the other boy be adorable - so, the same as usual, really. He understood the reasons behind Fitz being so OCD about everything. Not only was this their first "grownup" party, but it was their first party as a couple. Jonas, personally, thought that since they were a couple, there was no way the party wouldn't be perfect. The fact that they had confessed their love to each other, and the world, really, meant that the apartment could catch fire halfway through the event and, so long as Jonas had Toran's hand in his, it'd be incredible. Fitz wasn't as easily convinced. Which was apparent in everything he was doing and had done. Like right now, with guests arriving any minute, still madly at work in the kitchen. Jonas peeked over the top of the fridge door, setting his chin on it to smile and peer dreamily at Toran, bent over lining up drinks like a surgeon did scalpels. "Are you going to be like this all night? Or are you going to enjoy it with me?" he asked, soft and gentle and warm. Jonas caught Fitz's eyes and when the other boy stood up, he closed the fridge that'd been separating them, sliding his arms around Fitz's waist. "I won't say it when people are here, but you've gotta let me get it out one last time," he grinned, eyes nearly shut, they were crinkled with so much adoration. Jonas traced his nose over Fitz's and whispered on the other man's lips: "I love you, Toran." His grin waxed even sweeter.

. . . BUT WHEN YOUR STITCH COMES LOOSE I WANNA SLEEP ON EVERY PIECE OF FUZZ AND STUFFING THAT COMES OUT OF YOU . . . jonas @fitz

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His sharp and precise concentration crumbled almost instantly once introduced to the familiar tone of Jonas' voice. Instinctively, he turned his eyes up and away from the drinks to meet his boyfriend's, feeling the compulsive wind fall out of his sails in favor of focusing on the sensation of his heart melting through his ribs that only ever presented itself in Jonas' presence. Unconsciously, Fitz's lips curled into a lopsided smile, and he stood. Stepping out of the way of the fridge door as it swung shut and closer to the other boy, into his arms. His smile softened almost imperceptibly, and he cast his eyes down, feeling a bit sheepish. "I suppose I am being a little silly, aren't I?" He murmured, bumping his nose against the older boy's cheek. Moving of their own free will in effort to regain some semblance of authority, his hands fell to the taller man's hips, thumbs rooting in the waistband of his jeans. Fitz had a cunning remark on the tip of his tongue, but it stalled out at the last moment. His brows drew together into a frown, and he pushed closer with a certain ferocity, catching Jonas' lips with his own. Reaching with one hand to clutch at the base of the other man's neck, he lingered for a moment before pulling away a fraction of an inch, letting his breath ghost between them. "I love you, Jonas." He answered finally, eyes flitting up to meet his boyfriend's. "You can say it as much as you want, people or not-" As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. From the living room he heard Erin call, "I've got it!" With a backwards glance confirming they were out of sight for the moment, he turned his face to Jonas once more. Urgently, he stole another kiss, the hand not curled at the nape of his lover's neck crept further below the back of his jeans, gripping as if looking for a lifeline. With a nip, he parted, giving an errant squeeze to Jonas' backside before drawing out of the embrace with a decidedly unapologetic and mischievous look and stepping around his boyfriend on his way to the living room.

. . . I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine; What a match, I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet . . . fitz @jonas

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There was that look. It was one Jonas knew very well, as much from seeing it in Toran all the time as feeling it himself. The look that said he was so totally and completely drowning in love it was almost painful. Jonas knew his little murmured confession would probably strike that note in Toran, and even if that was icing on the cake, it had no influence on Jonas's decision to say it in the first place. Sometimes, even though Jonas knew Fitz was well aware, the need to verbalize his love came so strong he had to voice it, or he felt like he'd die. Jonas's eyes shone with adoration at the spasm of lovesick pain Toran's beautiful face snagged in. Then came the kiss - something that Jonas had also thought was likely - and the fierce suddenness of it stole his breath away. Toran's words ghosted over Jonas's lips after he pulled away. His skin went feverish and he shivered, not the least bit ashamed for his boyfriend to notice the reactions. Jonas smiled sheepishly. "Is it weird that I don't want anyone else calling you that?" he asked, feeling a little silly about it. Jonas had only recently begun calling Fitz "Toran," his actual first name. It felt intimate and private and Jonas was possessive of it. The knock at the door and Erin's call broke their bubble of privacy. Toran looked around, like he was checking to make sure the coast was clear, earning a wary brow raise from Jonas. Another kiss distracted him, and the hand on his ass earned a soft gasp from Jonas and an instinctive bucking of his hips, which only kneaded them into Toran and threw kindling on the fire. Fitz slipped away, smirking like the devil, and Jonas stood there, cheeks flushed, just barely managing not to beg. He stood there, dazed and more than a little flustered. Voices outside of the kitchen broke through the spell Toran had wrought on Jonas. Clearing his throat, Jonas deftly rearranged a choice organ, then tried very hard to look innocent as he belatedly trailed after his boyfriend.

. . . BUT WHEN YOUR STITCH COMES LOOSE I WANNA SLEEP ON EVERY PIECE OF FUZZ AND STUFFING THAT COMES OUT OF YOU . . . jonas @fitz

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A part of him knew he was being a bit more cruel than was characteristic for him. Toran reasoned with himself however, that he would be making up for it soon anyways, assuming everything went according to how he'd imagined in his head. The velvety box wormed it's way into his imagination at that moment. Currently, Erin was holding onto it for him, upon her ever-astute suggestion. He'd gratefully accepted the input, seeing as there wasn't much space to hide the ring in his skinny jeans, at least not without Jonas knowing something was up- assuming he didn't already with how uncharacteristically uptight Fitz had been about the party thus far. By the time he'd made his exit from the kitchen and moved into the living room, Erin had the door open and was inviting Jimmy and his plus one in along with a few close friends from high school who showed up on time, much to his surprise. He saw to getting the greetings and introductions out of the way quickly with the confidence and aloofness that he was known for. With a glance over his shoulder, he threw a warm smile at Jonas. Noting the decidedly rosy hue the older boy's face had taken on, it curled at the edges into a satisfied smirk. Innocently, he slung his arm around his boyfriend's waist, making the necessary introductions between Jimmy and Dev and Jonas. Less than an hour later, drinks had been distributed, and their little get together seemed to be going remarkably well. Toran gave himself and Erin a mental pat on the back. He'd stayed almost glued to Jonas' side from the moment he'd wound his arm around his waist earlier, only parting for the occasional drink refill and karaoke challenged presented to him. Altogether he was thankful for the distractions. It gave him less time to worry his lip between his teeth in anticipation. Turning to the older boy, he glanced upwards to meet his eyes, offering a small rueful smile. "I guess you were right. Things seem to be going pretty well."

. . . I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine; What a match, I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet . . . fitz @jonas

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The smile Toran threw over his shoulder when Jonas entered the main living space melted his heart. He didn't fail to notice, however, the cunning glaze to each corner of Toran's mouth after seeing him - probably because his face was still burning and flushed. Somehow the smugness in his boyfriend made Jonas's fever burrow deeper into his skin. The possessive arm slung over his waist was countered with one of his own wrapped around Toran's shoulders. With the first round of introductions, the momentum of the party started to increase. Soon even Toran didn't have time to agonize or fret, too busy talking or enjoying others's company. And the whole time, he stayed in Jonas's arms, making the boy practically glow with how happy he was. Somewhere near the hour mark, Jonas felt Toran's eyes and looked down into them. His brows raised, attentive and earnest, then Toran's rueful smile placed a bright, adoring one on Jonas. "You don't need to sound so surprised," he teased, and looping his fingers through the belts on Toran's skinny jeans, he turned his boyfriend until their hip bones met. Leaning down, he placed a still-smiling kiss on Toran's mouth. He pulled away and kept grinning, eyes nearly shut. "You're pretty," he commented, teasing and true.

. . . BUT WHEN YOUR STITCH COMES LOOSE I WANNA SLEEP ON EVERY PIECE OF FUZZ AND STUFFING THAT COMES OUT OF YOU . . . jonas @fitz

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As annoyingly cliche as it was to him, Toran all but melted and turned to putty in his boyfriends arms. The interaction and subsequent kiss pressed to his lips were sweet enough he could actively feel his teeth rotting out of his skull. Had it been anyone else, Fitz would have been put off by how cheesy the thoughts and emotions felt. Though, admittedly, Jonas had always sort of had that power over him, it was simply more open and pronounced and tangible now. With a grin, he rolled his eyes as the cheek given to him. "Yeah, yeah." For a beat, his heart twisted and shuddered, followed by a virtually unavoidable sense of fear that rooted itself in the pit of his stomach, brought forth by the nerves. He was thankful for the rush of pale pink that traveled and transplanted itself across his cheeks, and the red that dusted the tips of his ears in regard to the simple compliment. Resisting the urge to push the overt affection away with a bite of snark, he simply smiled, living briefly in the moment with his boyfriend. Slowly, agonizingly, he backed out of the embrace, catching Jonas' hand in his as he went. With a quick glance at Erin, he mustered up every shred of bravery within his thin framed form. Fitz squeezed the hand in his reassuringly, before very slowly and carefully lowering himself so that he was kneeling before the older boy. He forced himself to quit chewing his lip, pausing to accept the small box handed off to him by Erin. The music had died back into a soft drone in the background, and he did his best to ignore the growing formation of friends around the two of them. Clearing his throat, he started, "Words have never really been my thing, you were always better at that than me." A soft smirk twitched at his lips, and he pushed down the overwhelming anxiety that bubbled below the surface. "So I'll just say what I think about a lot," "Jonas, it's always been you. I don't think I'd ever want to live in a world where I couldn't be around you or with you, romantically or otherwise. You're my best friend. More than that. I love you in ways I didn't even think were possible." Eyes slipping closed, Fitz smiled. "And because we both know I never stop trying to push my luck, I have to ask." Producing the velevety box, he presented and offered it to the older boy. "Will you kindly let me marry the hell out of you?"

. . . I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine; What a match, I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet . . . fitz @jonas

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As always, the heat blooming on Toran's skin was a victory and a vice; a strength and a weakness to Jonas. He loved making it appear, glowing through the pores of his boyfriend's skin, but at the same time seeing it - or, especially, feeling that heat - almost stopped his heart every time. This one was no different. Jonas's contentment fluttered, stopped and stunted by confusion, because even with everything going according to plan, Toran had doubt and anxiety creeping in his eyes that was unmistakable to the older boy. Jonas was opening his mouth to ask what was wrong when Toran backed out of their embrace, only tripling the questions winding through Jonas's head. The significance in Toran's gaze, then, rooted him to the spot. It was like the entire world faded around them. Jonas had no idea where he was. His entire being honed in on Toran, and it was just the two of them. Him standing... Toran... kneeling... Jonas's stupefied face took a long moment to put things together, but when he did? Jonas's knees went weak. He sank onto them, eye-level with Toran, then, and the box that'd been held out to him. His hands reached out blindly, cupping Toran's cheek in one, his neck in the other, staring at him harder than he ever had before, tears welling in his eyes. And of all the mysteries in the world, how his ribs weren't breaking with the size his heart swelled to was near the top of the list, just then. Jonas drank in the sight of Toran with all that he had, breathing thinly. Then he realized that he had a role to play in this, too, and grinned, laughing at himself. "Yes," he whispered. He pulled Toran's face to his, arms snaring the other boy and crushing their torsos together, kissing him, a tear of pure joy escaping from one eye and falling on Toran's pale, beautiful cheek.

. . . BUT WHEN YOUR STITCH COMES LOOSE I WANNA SLEEP ON EVERY PIECE OF FUZZ AND STUFFING THAT COMES OUT OF YOU . . . jonas @fitz

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A piece within him, still wrought with anxiety and tumultuous fear had been tightly wound and ready to snap at a moments notice. Jonas didn't give it an opportunity. All at once he felt the nervous energy drain from him, flooding his skin and his veins with nothing but pure and distinctly surreal joy. Fitz was thankful for a moment that he'd gotten down on one knee before speaking, the weighty emotions making him sway forward, just in time to meet Jonas' lips and the embrace that followed. He wasn't sure if it was the happiness, so strong he couldn't articulate it into words if he tried, or the lack of oxygen going to his brain that made him feel lightheaded, but irregardless the catalyst he melted into Jonas' arms because it was home for him. He wasn't actually sure how long they stayed there on the floor, smiling and laughing and holding each other, but he couldn't have cared less. Hell the party could've ended right there for all he cared. Part of him hoped it would. As nice as it was to see friends, he was much more interested in everything Jonas for the foreseeable future- which looked brighter the longer he looked into it. At some point they had to get off of the floor. As he expected, in Erin's very capable hands the party carried on. Congratulations poured in from all sides, and by the time everyone began filing out, Toran fully expected his social battery to be completely drained. The apartment was now empty, save for himself and his fiancé. For a moment he simply savored how good it felt to refer to Jonas as his fiancé. Turning the deadbolt and locking the front door, he turned and rested his back against the frame. "That was nice. Not as wild as the parties we went to back in high school though." He mused, smirking in fond remembrance. If he closed his eyes he could still picture the shocked look on Jonas' face, one he wore a lot during their road trip if Fitz recalled correctly. His smirk faded into a small, crooked smile as he met the other man's eyes. "What are you staring at, Parker?"

. . . I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine; What a match, I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet . . . fitz @jonas

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The party bled by in blurs of color and sound and exchanges. Before, Toran had been his true north. He was always aware of where the other boy was, how far they were apart, and so on. After, it was like nothing and no one else existed. He felt his mouth moving, words coming, conversation flowing, but it was disconnected from him, like a dream. All he could see was Toran. His brain hummed like a tuning fork struck, resonating with so much happiness it was almost comparable to a state of shock. The only thing that even began to pierce Jonas's haze, beyond Toran's touch and voice and smile, was the weight of the band now resting on his left ring finger. Then, suddenly, the spell broke with the click of the apartment door closing. They were alone, and Toran smiled up at him, leaning his back against the door. Jonas heard the sly comment on how the party went, bu he couldn't bring himself to respond to it. Now that it was just the two of them, Jonas wondered if that "shock" had been his body's method of coping in front of company. Because now, more emotions for Toran welled up in him than he thought he could endure. "What are you staring at, Parker?" Jonas's small, doe-eyed smile faded a little. His eyebrows lifted and his eyes sparkled earnestly, almost as if he were in pain. "My entire world," he admitted in a rasping voice with a faint shrug. He took a step to close the distance. Reaching out, his hand snagged Toran's. He lifted it to his face and placed a kiss on the palm. Moving, he trailed reverent kiss after reverent kiss up Toran's arm, nesting his mouth on his fiancé's neck. Jonas tried to keep the fire in him to a manageable temperature, but it leaped out of his control for a second. His hands found Toran's hips and pinned him to the door behind him.

. . . BUT WHEN YOUR STITCH COMES LOOSE I WANNA SLEEP ON EVERY PIECE OF FUZZ AND STUFFING THAT COMES OUT OF YOU . . . jonas @fitz

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