Hold Me Softly (MATEO)

[Alexis García]

It hurt like a bitch. Alexis had woken up sprawled out on the ground in the Aegis headquarters, frankly not remembering what the hell happened. All he knew was that his throat was in some of the worst pain it had felt in its life. His first instinct was to shout out some curse words in Spanish but his throat protested by sending out waves of pain. Rolling his eyes, he got off of where he lay on the floor, brushing his clothes off and fixing his hair in the reflection of a nearby shiny silver door. Looking on in the reflection, his fingers lightly brushed the nasty bruise on the middle of his throat. His biggest fear was his vocal cords. Talking had proven painful. Nerves wrenched in his gut and with that, he made his way home. On his way he'd been filled in on the attack that had transpired. Thankfully, he wasn't the only Aegis member that got their shit handed to them. One of them even was struck by a bolt of lightning. He considered his to be better fate. 

It had been late afternoon when he left but he didn't get home until almost midnight. Why? He was getting piss drunk at a nearby club. The pain in his throat numbed a bit from the drink, though it was more of a bitch than usual going down. Fumbling with his keys to the penthouse, he stumbled inside, almost crashing to the floor but supporting himself with a nearby table. Giggling at himself, he threw his keys onto the table and slammed the door behind him, not having much thought of his friends and roommates. Gael had been at the club he'd been at and the two had partied for awhile, so he knew he wasn't waking him up. Miguel was nowhere to be seen at the moment. Mateo he could only assume was sound asleep. He fumbled around the apartment, pouring a shot of vodka and downing it before making his way towards his room. He stopped outside his door, hand on his door knob before his drunk self turned around and busted right into Mateo's room. He'd had a shitty day, and he wanted the comfort of Mateo right now. Only having the energy to take off his shirt, he crawled into bed with Mateo, throwing an arm and a leg over him and nestling his head in the nape of his neck. The two bathed together when they were kids, and Alexis was never shy of getting a little too close to his best friend since then. 

"Mateooo," he grumbled softly, near a whisper in his ear. "I missed you.." he whined, his voice distinctly hoarse. His throat burned but he spoke anyways. He was unsure if it was because of the hard liquor or the injury at this point. Alexis tightened his grip around Mateo, burying his face further in his neck. He couldn't smell it, but he could only imagine he was a strong mix of liquor, sweat, and cigarettes. 

Mateo Azarola

[Mateo Azarola]

Mateo had spent majority of the day worried, shifting from staring at the television, the news turned up too loud because he didn't want to miss a thing, to staring at his phone as if glaring at it could get Alexis or Miguel to call or text him that they were alright. Something had happened at Aegis. There was an attack outside that made the news but people could only assume something else was going on, possibly inside the building. He couldn't recall if either of his friends had been at the headquarters that day. He wanted to run over there. The news said they weren't letting visitors in and he didn't have Alexis' persuasive ways and powers. He'd had to settle for pacing around the apartment and resisting the urge to throw his phone when it remained quiet. At some point he'd almost fallen asleep on the couch, telling him to move to his bedroom. He'd closed the door, pulling everything except his underwear off and then laying down, grumbling into his pillow before he managed to doze off, his drowsy mind still managing to make plans to scold Alexis and Miguel - especially Alexis - on the importance of using their phones. Mateo only stirred when he felt a weight added to his bed. His eyes remained closed, though, as he grumbled, "Wrong room," because it wouldn't have been the first time someone's drunk ass had gone to the wrong room. Then a body was very much against his, an arm and leg even strung over him, practically trapping him in bed. His eyes were open now. He recognized the smell, his nose scrunching, having to resist the urge to chastise him right off the bat that alcohol and smoking wasn't good for him. Not that Mateo never drank. If they were home, it would've been a lot more legal. But he liked to think he was a bit more responsible on that end than Alexis. And he knew it was Alexis right away, before he heard his voice, a whisper that made him shudder. No matter how drunk anyone else got, neither of the other boys had ever tried to cuddle him. That was how he knew it was his best friend. He wondered if Alexis knew what he did to him, the way he made him ache without ever needing to use his powers. "Then pick up your cell," he drowsily threw back before he frowned, noting something different to the other man's voice. He shifted just enough to reach and turn the lamp on his nightstand on, grimacing at the sudden light before his attention was entirely on his best friend. He shifted more, getting into a sitting position and trying hard to ignore the fact that it made his skin brush against Alexis', before moving to try to coerce his clearly drunk friend to sit up with him. "What's wrong with your voice...?"

... see your eyes in a darkened room look at mine, see where your thoughts stray to. 'Cause I get chills anytime you almost touch me ... mateo Alexis García outfit described in post 487 words n/a

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[Alexis García]

Why couldn't he stay still? Why couldn't they just go to sleep? It wasn't the first time Alexis had unthinkingly crawled into bed with his best friend, especially while drunk. Even nights when he brought someone home he ended up either kicking them out or leaving their side in the middle of the night to be beside the only person he could bare sharing a bed with. Mateo's bed was always more comfortable than his, he was convinced on that. Plus, Alexis was always naturally cold. He wasn't sure what it was about him that made him this way, but he was always as cold as ice. Mateo radiated warmth. He was like a small little teddy bear that instantly put him to sleep.

Alexis giggled, squeezing Mateo in his arms and speaking low in Spanish, ignoring the pain that speaking brought with it, "Were you worried about me?" Mateo was adorable with his worry wart self. Even if it did annoy Alexis at times, he thoroughly enjoyed having someone so concerned about his well-being. Sure the guys all cared about one another, but he knew their bond was deeper, and as such, Mateo always seemed to have a bit of extra worry always left over for him. Reaching up with a lazy hand, he lightly tapped Mateo's cheek a few times in an attempt to smooth over that little bump in the road, "I'll make sure to text more," Letting his hand fall down onto Mateo's chest, he once more tried to nestle up even closer. How could another human be so warm and comforting?

Alexis didn't react much to the light, but pouted when Mateo started to rise into a sitting position. He tried his hardest to remain in his once comfortable and cozy position but found the position unbearably uncomfortable now that his cuddle buddy had shifted. Sitting up with his friend, he groaned. His head felt like it weighed a thousand bricks. It rolled around for a second, before landing on Mateo's shoulder.

"Are you saying my voice isn't as angelic as usual?" he over dramatically gasped only to start laughing and then began to wince from the pain it caused. A sober Alexis would have tried to hide it more from his best friend, not wanting to cause him any additional worry. Drunk as hell Alexis however, wanted attention. He took his head off its perch on Mateo's shoulder and craned it back, showing his friend the bruise that sat smack dab in the middle of his neck as it shined in the single light coming from the lamp atop the nightstand. There were a few hickeys decorating his neck now too, courtesy of some woman at the club that he couldn't even remember the face of anymore, let alone her name.

If it were anyone else, Alexis would act the part of the tough guy. Say the other guy had it worse or that it hardly hurt at all. But when he lowered his head and he looked into Mateo's eyes, he sighed, "I'm scared. It hurts to talk. What if my vocal cords are damaged?" Nerves started to build. They both knew what permanently damaged vocal cords could mean for them. Alexis would be ruined, and the VALENCIA would either have to find a new replacement for him or burn, "Mateo.." he said in a desperate tone, as if he held all the answers. He quit school for this. It was his only dream. He never dreamed about anything else. What would he do? He had no other redeeming qualities. This was all he had. Without it he was nothing. Alexis was lost in thought, his stare blank, the gears in his head clearly turning a little too fast.

Alexis suddenly got up from the bed, throwing his legs over the bed onto the floor. The room suddenly felt all too small. All too bright. Like there was a spotlight on him. He had wanted the attention but he wasn't so sure anymore. He didn't want Mateo to see his ugly bruise any longer. It was embarrassing. With heavy feet, he went into the kitchen of the penthouse, flicking on the lights. His vodka was still sitting on the counter where he'd left it earlier. Walking over to it, he began untwisting the cap before flicking it off and rearing up to chug the quarter of the bottle left.

Mateo Azarola

[Mateo Azarola]

He shot Alexis a no shit look when asked if he'd been worried but the harsh look quickly softened because at least Alexis was here and alive. Though he couldn't help throwing back, "One of your teammates got hit by lightning on national TV. Why wouldn't I worry?" He rolled his eyes at the taps to his cheek, resisting the urge to playfully nip at his finger because with Alexis already there, drunk and shirtless, he didn't trust where that sort of playfulness might lead. "Calling would work too," he said, "Knowing you're alive is great." There was less scorn in his tone and more genuine relief because he meant it. Knowing Alexis was alive was better than wondering if he was dead. Even if he'd been hurt, it was better than dead. He couldn't bear the thought of having to live without him. He relaxed a little with Alexis' head on his shoulder, his hear brushing his chin. He wondered if he wrapped his arms around him, would he stay or would he try to wiggle out? He wondered a lot of what ifs when it came to his best friend. They remained what ifs only because he was scared they'd ruin the friendship. Some days he wanted to ruin it, but only in the best ways. "Mmm less like an angel more like a troll," he teased, a small smirk on his lips before his expression turned serious. He reached forward, gently grasping Alexis' chin to get a better look at his neck. He felt jealous like a bullet when he saw the hickeys as well as the usually depressing why can't I have him, his finger absentmindedly running along Alexis' chin in his grasp. Mateo released his grip only to lean in to look closer at the bruise. Whoever had done that, he wanted to rip their throat out. He was reminded why he wasn't the fondest of Alexis being in Aegis, it put him in danger. A part of him wished he had powers so he could better protect him. Someone as kind as Alexis should never know pain, in his opinion. His breath hitched faintly when Alexis admitted to being scared, knowing it was probably due to the alcohol. He knew how much VALENCIA meant to Alexis, how much he'd sacrificed for the band. He opened his mouth to try to comfort him but suddenly Alexis was up and moving again. Mateo sighed, not keen on walking around the apartment in his underwear but he doubted his best friend would give him time to pull on pants. He got out of bed and followed, speeding up when he saw the drink. He quickly and firmly snatched it from Alexis' grasp, casting a glare in his direction before grabbing the cap and returning it to the bottle. "Vomiting or getting alcohol poisoning isn't going to make you feel better," he scolded, setting the bottle down and pushing it far enough away that he knew he could block Alexis if he tried to grab it again. <"The hangover tomorrow is already going to make you feel shittier,"> he added, slipping into Spanish. He stepped closer, gently grasping Alexis' wrist, placing his other hand on his hip and looking into his eyes. He couldn't help his eyes wandering to the other man's lips, wanting to know what it felt like to kiss them and furiously jealous that others had found out before he did. But even if his feelings were reciprocated - he didn't think they were - Alexis was drunk. It would have been wrong for him to act on them. "If they're damaged," he said, voice and expression soft. "Then we'll figure it out - together like always. Besides, maybe Aegis has some healer? Out of all the people there, there's bound to be someone with healing powers." He took in a breath and let it out, wishing he could do more to comfort him. <"No matter what happens, though, you'll always have me.">

... see your eyes in a darkened room look at mine, see where your thoughts stray to. 'Cause I get chills anytime you almost touch me ... mateo Alexis García outfit described in first post 665 words n/a

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[Alexis García]

"I'm too good to get hit by lightning," Alexis joked, hoping a nonchalant attitude about the Aegis break-in would make Mateo less worried about it, and have less fears about him and Miguel going back. He waved his hand in the air dismissively, "Getting sucker-punched in the throat was only because I wasn't trying that hard," he continued on, tutting, "I gotta let these people get their practice. I could ruin their whole careers if I tried," It was a lie, one that he figured would be concealed well enough in the tone of confidence he exuded to get by unnoticed. He'd never admit being physically weak to Mateo or being one of the weaker links in Aegis. No, not one bit. He liked being seen as this heroic figure who could take anyone on, or protect anyone. In truth, he knew he had to stop skimping out on his training sessions. He wasn't a bad fighter but that lack of dedication showed within this incident. He had to quit treating his role within Aegis as some joke. It was hard though, having joined for the publicity and the publicity only. There was no passion. No interest. Yet he knew he had to begin working harder or he'd get in a worse situation than a hard blow to the throat next time.

"You want me to ring you when I'm slapping around bad guys?" he laughed freely, his whole self loosened up by his current sloppy state, poking his friend's cheek, "I'm good, Mateo, but I'm not so godly to be able to multitask like that," At first he was worried Mateo was really upset with him, but he noted the change in tone and grinned knowingly. He was in the clear. It wasn't like Mateo was ever able to stay mad at him for long, but he was always thankful when it was a fleeting moment.

Alexis could only roll his eyes at Mateo joking about his voice resembling a troll. Alexis smiled back at him, but when the other boy's expression turned more serious, he followed suit, the smile quickly fading into a straight line, and added in a soft voice, his words slurring together only a little, his eyes peering into Mateo's, as if searching for some kind of answer, "You love my voice,"

Alexis' eyes never left Mateo's as he inspected the injury. He wasn't surprised to see perhaps a hint of anger in them. Leaning into his touch, his heart soaring at the light chin rubs, his drunken self became all too aware of how close they were, something he never typically fixated on. He grew increasingly hot, staring at his friend and being so close. His eyes were such an enticing shade of brown, his jawline an attractive structure. He could go on about all the little facial features his mind was ogling over in that instance. It had to be the alcohol in his body. He was sure of it. He had never before looked on Mateo in such a way. So longingly. He became acutely aware how close their lips were. How attractive he looked with that worried, serious expression on his face. What in the hell were these thoughts? Mateo was a brother. Nothing more. It was another reason he threw himself out of the bed and bolted from the room.

"Hey-!" Alexis did his best to yell in protest to his bottle being taken away but his voice faltered at the exertion and ended up coming out as more of a weak yelp. Alexis thought of making a grab for the bottle again, but Mateo had anticipated that and pushed the bottle further out of his grasp, he took a step, intending to make a go for it, only to stumble a bit. Grabbing onto the counter for support, he looked at his friend with pure annoyance and only rolled his eyes in Mateo's little lecture about hangovers and alcohol poisoning. He was always ruining his fun. Alexis felt all too hot all over again when Mateo reached out and held his wrist and the weird nervous feeling in his stomach grew when a gentle hand was placed on his hip.

Internally, he was panicking. Alexis was confused. He chalked it up to the alcohol and being so vulnerable with Mateo in this moment. Why else would his body react so respondent to his touch when it was so insignificant before? He didn't enjoy feeling so at mercy to Mateo. He could do anything and his body would react positively. The situation was foreign and dangerous, and he wanted so desperately to get away. Put some distance in between their bodies. He screamed at his own to put some much needed space, and yet, it only ended up closing the distance.

Alexis' head drooped so that their foreheads touched. Closing his eyes, he took in a deep breath as he listened to Mateo's soft, comforting words. It was times like these he wondered if his friend knew how much of a rock he was in his life. Alexis was made of glass, despite the show he put on. Mateo was this steel wall surrounding him. Protecting him from breaking at all times. Did he know truly how lost Alexis would be without him? Was he aware? He didn't like how dependent on Mateo he felt in these situations, but he allowed it anyways. Perhaps it was selfish, but he needed Mateo to protect him from crumbling down. He didn't have the strength to push it away.

Head still resting on Mateo's forehead, he whispered out in Spanish, with just a hint of longing, "I love you," Alexis told Mateo he loved him all the time, but why did this time stir something up in his heart? Why was it that this time, it felt like that sentence almost held an evolved meaning? I really need to stop drinking so much.. he told himself, convinced that had to be the reason. He hadn't slept with anyone in awhile and now here he was not sober. That had to be the reason he felt such a lust for Mateo that he never had before. 

Alexis sighed, peeling his forehead away. Opening his mouth as if to say something, he shut it quickly, looking at the floor for a moment. He decided against speaking any further. Shaking his head, more at himself than anything else before lifting it back up to lazily meet Mateo's eyes he just shrugged, "Come on, let's go back to bed, I'll see about a healer tomorrow," Alexis wriggled out of his friend's grasp and went back to his room not looking behind him and only assuming he was in tow, sliding quickly into the bed and waiting for his friend to join him. His arms wide open, ready to take him back into his embrace, waiting to hold him gently.

Mateo Azarola

[Mateo Azarola]

A punch to the throat certainly explained the bruise but the mere thought of someone doing that to Alexis infuriated him. He didn't doubt Alexis' ability but he had a feeling the fight had been more one sided than he was letting on. He didn't think pointing that out would help, though. There was a time and a place for seeing past Alexis' confidence. He didn't think pointing it out in this moment would do anything except make his best friend feel worse so he gave him that lie. Mateo lightly rolled his eyes when Alexis laughed and poked his cheek again. He had a point of course, annoyingly enough. Texting was easier than calling even if it meant Mateo didn't get to hear his voice. And he did love Alexis' voice, he was right about that though Mateo wondered if he knew just how much he loved his voice. He wondered if he knew there were many things he loved about him. If he'd ever stopped worrying - he hadn't - he would've gone right back to it the second Alexis stumbled. He'd been ready to catch him should he fall but Alexis managed to catch himself. He hated it when he got this drunk. He understood the appeal of alcohol - he'd drank before and occasionally enjoyed a drink with his friends - but he'd never understood the appeal of getting so drunk one could barely stand or walk without stumbling. Of course he wouldn't ever judge Alexis, he cared about him too much to do that. It merely left him confused because as often as he'd tried to understand why the other man liked getting this drunk or why he liked hooking up with random people, he didn't get it. And he didn't like not understanding something when it came to Alexis. His own eyes fluttered close when their foreheads touched. He wished he could kiss him. He wished Alexis would kiss him. But he didn't - neither of them initiated anything. Instead Alexis whispered to him and he thought he heard something more in his voice and it was enough, their faces so close, to make Mateo's legs feel weak. <"I love you too,"> he replied, his voice the same whisper but with more longing, out for all the world to see - and Alexis was his world. He was certain the only reason he was able to get the words out in that moment was because Alexis was drunk and his own eyes were close so he couldn't see the other man's reaction. But then Alexis was moving again and Mateo's eyes opened. He felt cold, Alexis no longer in his grasp, but he couldn't argue. The other man clearly needed sleep. Hell, they both did. He watched Alexis walk back to his room before following in tow. He leaned down onto the bed and into Alexis' embrace, wrapping his own arms protectively around him and tangling their legs up together. He didn't think it was fair - to be able to hold him so close like this but not able to have him. However he'd long ago decided it was far better than not having anything at all.

... see your eyes in a darkened room look at mine, see where your thoughts stray to. 'Cause I get chills anytime you almost touch me ... mateo Alexis García outfit described in first post 527 words n/a

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[Alexis García]

I love you too.

It played on repeat in Alexis' mind, like a skipping record. Was it wishful thinking that Mateo had appeared to look upon him a little differently when he'd said it in that moment? He'd felt a slight shift in the meaning behind it as Mateo whispered those words back to him. Eyes closed, the world spun around him. He wasn't quite sure what the time was. Early morning light started to filter in through the cracks in Mateo's blinds. Dust floated around softly in the morning glow. It lightly kissed Mateo's features, highlighting them in a warm hue that only made him look more ethereal in Alexis' eyes and, for some reason, only reminded him of how forbidden his desire was. Sucking in a deep breath, he sighed, absentmindedly drawing different shapes on Mateo's arms while they lay there, a tangled up mess of limbs. Despite hours having gone by, they still remained in that state they had fallen asleep in. All he could think about was how, despite having held the other man so many times, was how soft his skin was. Something that never crossed his mind once. In general, his body always felt numb to the touch over the other boy. Such an intoxicating feeling had it become to feel his warm, soft skin. It was nothing new to touch him. They grew up closer than some biological brothers had, but now the brotherly image he'd long since held over Mateo was rapidly fading away.

Alexis was all too aware of the stench of booze that hung around him like a thick cloud. Booze, cigarettes, sweat and a stranger's perfume still clung to him. Typically, it was a signature scent, but for some reason on this early morning, it bugged him to no end. How did Mateo not choke in his presence? How did anyone not gag? Frankly, he liked the smell of cigs, but the rest he could do away with. Masterfully, having done it many times before, he slid out of Mateo's arms, taking care not to stir the other boy from his seemingly fretful slumber. He'd noticed a crease in the boy's eyebrows. Almost like he was worried about something. Feeling as though he needed some good rest, he did his absolute best to keep quiet this particular morning.

Tiptoeing over to Mateo's bathroom, he didn't bother to shut the door behind him. Mateo was a light sleeper. Always was, but years of accidentally waking the kid and getting one too many pillows to the face has taught him his lesson and he knew what he could get away with. Shimmying out of his jeans and underwear, he stood bare in the bathroom, staring furiously into the mirror instead of making his way straight into the shower. His fingertips grazed the disgusting hickeys dotting his neck and cascading down to his chest. Unknowingly, he stood there like that for roughly ten minutes, just doing nothing but scrutinizing himself. Rolling his eyes in disgust, he absently rubbed hard at them, willing them to disappear. It was just an annoying reminder of trying to forget the lust he felt for his friend by replacing it with someone else. Unsuccessfully at that.

Stepping into the shower, he scrubbed fiercely, especially at his neck. He ignored the pounding headache that was the trademark of a hangover as he used Mateo's shampoo and conditioner, taking moments to smell each before lathering up his hair. Memories of last night slowly resurfaced and he couldn't help but cringe at the thought of himself last night. What if you'd tried something? You were close enough. Idiot.. you can't be around him like that anymore.. he thought angrily towards himself. The young man truly started to doubt if he'd have the willpower to hold himself back from expressing his newfound attraction towards Mateo the next time he was drunk off of his ass.

Finishing up his shower, he wrapped a towel around his lower half, his hair dripped wet as he softly padded to his room for a pair of clean underwear. Throwing on a pair black boxers, he lazily dried off his hair, leaving it damp yet before hurrying back to Mateo's room. Slowly and surely, he laid down on his back, reclaiming his rightful spot on the bed next to Mateo, skillfully grabbing Mateo and placing the boy's head on his bare chest and wrapping his arms protectively around him. Alexis rested his chin on Mateo's head before subtly smelling his head. He'd used the same shampoo and yet it smelled so much better in his hair. He spent a few moments like that. Simply burying himself in the comforting aroma that was Mateo.

Alexis' heartrate picked up, suddenly feeling timid and unsure to be holding his friend in such a manner. Taking in a deep breath, meant to be calming and reassuring to himself, he planted three small kisses atop his head before closing his eyes and breathing in Mateo and the pure ecstasy he was.

"If only.." he whispered in Spanish.

Mateo Azarola

[Mateo Azarola]

He awoke to the sound of a shower, just loud enough to tell him it was coming from his bathroom. Then he became aware of the lack of a body next to him. He sat up, rubbing a hand over his face then through his tangle of bedhead. He could remember everything that had occurred the night prior - of course he could, he hadn't been the one drunk off his ass. He would've been surprised if Alexis even remembered his own name. But the sound coming out of his personal bathroom was clearly a shower, not someone losing their stomach so that must have been a good sign. It wasn't the first time Alexis had borrowed his shower and each time Mateo couldn't help but wonder what it'd be like to join him. He groaned quietly to himself and shook his head. He was making things worse for himself, he knew that much yet couldn't stop. He wasn't going to push Alexis away just because it hurt to have him so close. He laid back down with a tired huff, pulling the blanket back over him. It was too early for such thoughts, too early for heartbreak. He'd rather go back to the comfort of his dreams. He wasn't entirely sure when he dozed off. The shower had still been going. He wasn't entirely unfamiliar with waking up in someone's arms. He wasn't one for hook ups like Alexis and Gael but he'd had a boyfriend in high school briefly - though briefly was probably an understatement. The relationship hadn't lasted long and the guy clearly hadn't gotten along well with Alexis. Alexis. Mateo heard something whispered in Spanish, his brain still sluggish with sleep and not really registering the words. He mumbled nonsense about needing coffee first and shifted so he was curled up even tighter against his best friend. The scents were clearly the soap and shampoo from his own bathroom, telling even his groggy mind who was there. He knew he should've pulled away - the most likely scenario was that Alexis was trying to wake him up somehow. But if this was a dream, he didn't want to wake from it. A leg shifted to rest on top of Alexis' own legs and without really thinking about it, Mateo's head snuggled more against the other man's chest as if he was a pillow. He didn't want to wake up from this because Alexis was here. He was safe and he was here. [END]

... see your eyes in a darkened room look at mine, see where your thoughts stray to. 'Cause I get chills anytime you almost touch me ... mateo Alexis García outfit described in first post 414 words Let me know if you need more! 💕

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